I popped in to my local chemist today to buy a pack of Panadeine (100’s) – my chosen pain relief.

My recipe for instant relief from pain: 2 x Panadeine and a strong cup of coffee. It works every time.

Anyway, sometimes I get asked for ID, sometimes not. I suspect it’s when I buy more than 24 tablets. Anyway, the young shop girl mumbled something to me, and being hard of hearing I said “Pardon?”.

She said: “I have to take your details ‘cos deviants use this stuff for making heroin!”

I nearly roared with laughter. Mind you, I had camo shorts on, black wooly socks, a baggy old polar neck sweater, and a rather bushy beard. Perhaps I looked like the deviant she was referring to.